


Cold

by MelyndaR



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:15:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22957771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelyndaR/pseuds/MelyndaR
Summary: When Loki is absent from the Avengers' Christmas party, Bruce goes in search of him - and finds a scene so troubling that he's not sure what to make of it. (originally posted on 6/4/14 on FF.net)
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Loki
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	Cold

Bruce was the only one who noticed his absence during the Avengers small Christmas Eve party in the tower. Probably because, by the end of the evening, he was the only one who was not drunk and/or holed up in a bedroom with their significant other. He had it on the good authority of Jarvis that Tony was currently both.

Natasha had Steve off in some closet of the tower, and Clint and Thor had already drunk themselves through the floor – literally. Thor had, once thoroughly soused, smashed Mjolnir through the floor and promptly fallen through said hole, taking Hawkeye with him.

Thus the party had wound down, and Bruce had inquired of the tower's AI where everyone was. Although he had noticed the party's lack of Loki earlier, he was reminded of it when Jarvis informed him that the god was on the roof, and had been there all evening.

Strange. Loki would've had to have been up there for at least three hours and it was awfully cold out – snowing even. Both curious and mildly concerned, Bruce decided to go check in on the Avengers' newest team member.

He found that there wasn't even any door to the roof to have to push open anymore since the piece of glass was in a million shards on the floor – someone really was going to have to talk to Thor about controlling the usage of his hammer a little more. Bruce was able to step silently into the biting air of the outdoors with only the soft crunch of glass underfoot announcing his arrival.

Loki, however, appeared far too distracted to notice him. The god was standing right at the edge of the roof, head lifted towards the snowflakes that were falling softly. It was a peaceful scene, but something about it put Bruce decidedly on edge. Although Loki didn't seem bothered by the cold of the night air, there was something else about him that was entirely cold and distant... hurting.

It was no greatly held secret that Loki still felt very out of place here with the Avengers and even still dealt with guilt over what he had done to them and all the inhabitants of Manhattan while under the control of the Chitauri. And he was just too close to the roof's edge.

"Loki," Bruce called out, taking a step towards him.

Loki gasped and turned towards the doctor in surprise, suddenly teetering on the edge because of his rapid movement. Bruce dashed across the roof and grabbed his forearm to steady him.

Noticing Bruce's pale, taut expression, Loki took a half-step back from the edge, whispering, "I wasn't going to jump, if that's what you were thinking."

"I know," Bruce replied just as softly.

But he also knew that there were tears in Loki's eyes. He knew that when the god had thought he was alone, there had been a pained vulnerability on Loki's face that left Bruce deeply unsettled. Bruce knew – all too well he knew – the emotions that came with that look… desperation, self-hatred hopelessness. He knew what it was like to be so down and so cold to the good things in yourself that the only thing you felt was that you were capable of ending your own life.

What he _didn't_ know was whether or not Loki really had intended to jump off of the roof, and that scared him.

The "other guy" stirred restlessly inside of him, but Bruce pushed him away as Jarvis declared softly, "It is now midnight."

"Merry Christmas, Loki," Bruce said softly, shivering in the snowy cold.

As Bruce watched him, Loki turned with his shoulders hunched and his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he walked silently back into the house, answering quietly, "Merry Christmas, Dr. Banner."


End file.
